watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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