i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
