tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's just like the Real World with babies
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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