once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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