it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
