i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is Oprah even human
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
