guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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