Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
