She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
