our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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