You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
