I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
