I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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