his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
