white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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