the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
