READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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