I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i came on her dog
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
