im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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