She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
