I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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