she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
