I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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