Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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