Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
