There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
