We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
