Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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