I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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