I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
