she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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