i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
