sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
