I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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