Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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