i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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