sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
