I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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