Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
