You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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