You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im six kinds of drunk right now
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
