I just gift wrapped bread.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
