he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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