Heybabeimwearingurpanties
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
