If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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