"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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