That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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