In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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