nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Come share oat with me in your robe
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
