I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
