Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize