Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
