ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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