I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
